“Guys, make a note that all our moaning and groaning may indicate that we may not have ‘it’ at all.” Thus said the girls.
Welcome to the second part of our post on the ill effects of faking an orgasm. If you want to read the first part you can get it here. Getting back to the point, it may be judicious to let the boys know that when the girls are quiet, maybe they are actually about to come, finds a research. We understand this makes the boys’ life difficult. So we have brought forward some ways for you girls to keep the bedroom air clear of all doubts and have pleasurable sex without any false emotions.
War and Peace
War: Hurts the male sentiments
Believe it or not, it’s true. Even men have sentiments and that too get hurt. Faking orgasms keep them under the impression that they have managed to give the pleasure they so earnestly desire. For men, it establishes the fact that they can perform and they can perform better. With the help of phony performances you have continuously fed that ego and in the process made him vulnerable. As a result, when he will know that you have been “faking” it all along it will be too low a blow for him to absorb. If he loves you, he may not turn away, but it will definitely turn him off. Now, you don’t want that to happen, do you?
Peace: Direct him
This may sound in direct contradiction to “his” natural ego, but it helps. While you are under the sheets, break the silence with meaningful and comprehensible instructions to let him what is working for you and what is not. Tell him if you have thought that night to be a “masturbation only”. If you are in the mood for going all the way, then help him with the minor detail like whether he should move a bit up and then left or slide a bit right and move down. That actually helps because that will give you pleasure, guarantee you a natural finish and leave him satisfied knowing he played his part well.
War: Performance pressure
Have you been feeling performance pressure? Sorry gals, you need to snap out of it. That is the most devious trap you might have fallen for. Ask yourself a couple of questions. Have you set any standard based on what you have seen in films? Have you set any limit based on what you have heard from your friends? If any or both of those apply to you, handling the challenge becomes easier. You know what has set a marker in your mind and you need to erase it. If none of them applies to you, then you probably need to think deep and find out what has or what all have caused you to set a performance benchmark. You need to do this quick as performance should be in no way connected to lovemaking. You need not try to be sexy or have a repeated orgasm in a span five, 10, or even 15 minutes.
Peace: Coach your partner
You got to believe that you are unique and you take your own sweet time to have a blast. Once you believe in this fact, you will start to know yourself better. Understand what works for you and what doesn’t, be knowledgeable about your own body and its erogenous points. What follows is coaching your partner and letting him know about yourself. Suggest him options and alternatives. Tell him what stimulates you, a sensational massage of your nipples or your clitoris. You may not like penetrative sex every time and it’s about time your partner should know about that. Everybody is aware of the fact that women need to feel safe, comfortable and intimate. And only when these prerequisites are met a woman can rattle the bed. If your partner is not aware of this fact, then educate him. If he still doesn’t care, leave him.
War: Fake binding of commitment
In case you think that you cannot lose your current relationship, at no cost. Think again. It may be that your desire to cling on to a relationship is forcing you to fake that you have hit the high spot. And maybe you are silent about it due to the fear of rejection. Face your fear and fight it out to set the real you free. You are too good to stay in your fear and allow it to dictate your terms of love and commitment. If you continue to fake and manipulate his commitment, it’ll do no good to any of you.
Peace: Understand the equation
Give yourself, and him, the time to understand whether it’ll work out in the longer term. If it does, fantastic. If not, let go. You need not worry about rejection and spend time with someone who finds it hard to understand the true you. There is no prince charming worth better than you, yourself. If your partner thinks you’re not living up to his expectations, then either try to find out what he desires and check if you also want to the same and work towards it or else, simply quit.
War: Losing out on creativity
Fake orgasm does more harm than good. It may save the night, but it’ll surely not save the bond. In fact, the same routine moaning and groaning will turn mundanely depressing at one point in time. To top that up, the boring act will make you angry. And what better libido killer can you have than anger. All the sweat and panting will ultimately go in vain, making your relationship feel like a baggage.
Peace: Different strokes
For both of you, it is important to understand that all days, moods, expectations, and desires are different and they change. The best way to keep your relationship colorful and vibrant is to adapt to these changes. Your partner and you may have gathered experiences from your respective exes, so this is the time to get together your acts and put those experiences into action. Check with him what he likes and tell him about your preferences. Be clear on one point that there will be no pretense in the relationship; therefore, every night will not be the same. Do what it takes to ignite the passion, to fall in love, and to give romance a bit of space. Those are so powerful that you would not need any additional and routine sound to turn each other on. It doesn’t take a toll to experiment, to turn kinky now and then, and to not take in but stroke each other ecstasy.
Being together with the right person who lets you be, guarantees pleasure that surges from within. That pleasure does not need any short-lived, ego-feeding sound effects. That pleasure builds on itself and throws you high, only to catch you back with care and sensitivity. Once you get tuned for that pleasure, rest assured you will once again discover that orgasm is blissful and divine, too good to fake and commit a sin.