Finally, someone addressed the elephant in the room. An Indiana University School of Public Health recent study reveals that most women need clitoral stimulation to attain orgasm as penetrative sex does not help them get it.
Much needed proof
The researchers gathered personal data from 1,000 participants, within the age group 18 to 94, to arrive at some key findings, among which the focus lies on stimulating the clitoris before or during sex. About 51 percent of the women said that they get oral sex, indicating that women need more than the stick to get blissed. A good 73 percent disclosed that they cannot attain orgasm without clitoral stimulation, making the rubbing of the pea the most desired act among women. Add to this the 39 percent women who prefer their clitoris touched during lovemaking. They say, it makes them feel better and get them a far better orgasm. When asked, “where do they want to be touched,” more than 60% said, “directly on the clitoris”. Not only that women said they want to be touched differently, agreeing to the 12 different styles ranging from “Up and Down” to “Pulling”.
Need of the bud
The clitoris being outside the vagina gets very little attention. In most cases, even women do not know where their clitoris is. This ignorance prevents all types of talks about the clitoris and kept it under the hood from both women and men. Besides, women grow up with the misconception that the vagina is the female equivalent of a penis and is the most desired between the two sexes.
Till recent past, the role of women largely focused on bearing a child. It was out of the question for women to desire sexual pleasure. As clitoris is directly connected with only driving sexual pleasure among women, the role of the clitoris has been understated as well.
Relationships always revolved around the bond of men and women. In these relationships “sex” has always been the penetrative act. Gradually, when the relationship started evolving and women to women relationship came in the picture, people involved, figured that “sex” need not always be that way. The women want to enjoy orgasm with their female partner and have found out that the clitoris plays a very important role in the act.
The clitoris is connected to 8,000 nerve endings that connect to 15,000 other nerve points spread throughout the pelvic region. Therefore, it’s no wonder that if a woman wants to get a full body orgasm, the activity has to start from the clitoris.
Let’s face it, women anatomy is complicated and so is their need to satisfy their sexual urge. Penetrative sex alone cannot take them to the orgasm. Besides vaginal stimulation, they need their clitoris to be stimulated.
It’s actually big
What we see of the clitoris is only the tip of the iceberg. The feel-good button is 1.5 to 2 cm in length and lies within the pelvic region. Among its different parts, the clitoris has two bulbs that get engorged with blood. The bulbs although not directly visible, can be felt behind the vaginal wall. So when it comes to stimulation you need to go all the way from the tip that is outside the vagina, to the bulbs that are inside the vagina.
Like the woman a clitoris is attached to, each and every clitty is different. Hence, it’s natural that they need to be treated differently. Some may want a rough friction to wake up, while some may want a gentle touch and another may get titillated by a soft rub around. Jim Pfaus, Ph.D., professor and sex researcher at Concordia University in Montreal suggests, “she’s too sensitive to direct stimulation, more of that may make her want to kill you.” Knowing what a jelly bean will react to helps a lot in self-stimulation or foreplay in lovemaking.
Pink pearl care instruction
Know where it is
This is the most important of all. Knowing where the clitoris is like winning half the battle. It may be under a hood, it may be a small pod, but it is there. Right on top of the inner lips of the vagina the girl boner resides, shying away to create a sense of mysticism. Although anatomically, the location may differ from one woman to another, by and large, it settles five to six centimeter apart from the vagina.
Just because it is not apparent doesn’t mean it has to be neglected. If a sensuous orgasm is on the agenda, then it has to start with a massage of the bean. Whether self or partnered, the clitoris massage, with the fingers or an adult toy, has to be a part of the play. It sets the stage for an exciting drama.
This has to be done super sensitively. Most partners generally stop at licking and flicking with the tongue. That’s ok. But the little man in the boat may need a little bit more. As a lover, if the partner already knows what type of touch ignites her, then replicating that orally adds to the fun. Sucking and nibbling the clit create as much wave as pulling and pinching. The trick, however, is to be gentle.