First-time sex is considered a kind of special and a big moment. Considering that a lot of people attach a lot of notions with it, it is kind of a big deal. Not only does it require one to be prepared physically but also mentally and emotionally.
Hence, it’s important that one knows how to calm their nerves and not end up being a nervous wreck at the idea of doing it, especially just before doing it. Because nothing soothes the nerves than knowing enough, let’s talk about how to prep yourself before you do the deed and lose your virginity.
Emotional Support Is The Correct Way To Go
While it’s not something that you’ll be judged your whole life on, it certainly does feel nice to be prepared for what’s about to happen.
It’s a known fact that quite a few youngsters want to have sex and lose virginity because of FOMO(Fear of Missing Out). However, by jumping the bandwagon and doing it without communicating your needs can make you regret the lack of communication later on.
So, it’s advised that one knows what they are getting into and then do it, because the first time is well, first time.
Additionally, considering that our body’s not used to the process, it pines for more emotional security when it comes to the first time. Especially in females, where the vagina isn’t used to the contractions that take place during sexual intercourse, the need for emotional support is even more evident.
What is also important is that you shouldn’t fall for the bragging of people around you or what you see in the porn movies, and be ready to be open for the experience you’ll have. By investing yourself in the sexual tales of others, you might be setting yourself up for a wrong set of expectations that may not hold true for the first time.
So, communicate effectively with your partner and make sure you make them understand that it’s necessary to approach the first time sex with no expectations regarding performance.
Pick Your Partner, Wisely!
While Virginity is a social construct and is not a pressing issue for marriages these days in an urban setting, on a personal level, it can be much more.
Since your experiences will stay with you, make sure that you have your first-time sex with someone you can trust at that point of time. Although it’s generally true that your first sexual partner may not be the person you’ll end up with, it certainly does help when you know that you can trust the person you’ll spend your first time with.
Losing your virginity can also be overwhelming for some and in such case, the person does expect their partner to support them and not just carry on without even a hint of intimacy.
Expect Some Speed Breakers!
Every person is different both physically and emotionally, thus, how they react to their first time will be different. One can’t put a blanket on the reaction they’ll make if x situation happens or y situation happens.
When it comes to the first time sex, while guys don’t have a telltale, girls might bleed a little due to the rupturing of their hymen. But even if you don’t, it’s alright! (Hymen can, in some cases, not rupture during the first time sex or could have been ruptured earlier due to the sports and other physically strenuous activities.) So, it’s ideally understood that a little blood can be expected!
Make sure you don’t get grossed out by it! (Especially the guys)
Your partner may be emotionally vulnerable and might be expecting your support and the wrong kind of gestures may not help. A lot of people can end up with body image issues based on how their partners look at them, so make sure to treat your partner right and not pressure them!
There’s also an obvious point about pain. Generally, it pains during the first time, because a girl’s body isn’t used to the contractions and hence, without being properly lubricated(due to lack of Foreplay and otherwise), it’ll be a painful experience for a girl and will feel rough for the guy too. So, go slowly and smoothly!
Also, be gentle during the first time. There’s no point for either of the people if they create a situation for their partner that they don’t enjoy sex or end up in pain that could have been avoided by being considerate and taking time to do the deed.
Safe Sex Is The Best Sex!
Remember this always, nothing beats Safe Sex.
Make sure you use adequate protection, irrespective of the how experienced or inexperienced your partner is. Some Sexually Transmitted Diseases are passed to the progeny and hence, protection is of utmost importance!
By ensuring Safe sex, you’ll be able to enjoy your first time with a lot more excitement considering you’d have ensured your well being!
If you need help with understanding Safe Sex practices, Sexually Transmitted Diseases and risk factors, read this!
Don’t let your partner tell you that it’s ‘alright’ to not use Condoms for the first time. Condoms do more than just protect from pregnancies and prevent STDs, which the pull-out method won’t be able to help with.
So, cover yourself, whether it’s your first time or not since the consequences can be more worrisome.
Don’t Forget The Foreplay
To have smooth sex, you should know what is the basic requirement to help your partner get aroused and well lubricated, especially for the first time.
Foreplay is extremely important and is the deal maker! If you are good at foreplay, chances are you’ll win brownie points and check all the right areas!
Make sure you spice up your intimate time with a lot of Foreplay that involves talking, teasing and much more.
If you need help with understanding Foreplay, here are some handy tips to get you up to speed with what you need to do!
Pointers To Swear By
Like mentioned previously, it’s important to understand that there may be some speed breakers or roadblocks in what you think of as first time sex.
Hence, the need to keep an open mind. Don’t overthink about your performance either, and even if you don’t end up performing too well, don’t go too harsh on yourself!
First-time sex involves being present in the moment and understanding how your partner responds to your touch and advances and work keeping that in mind.
These small pointers will help you do well before your strike one!
- Personal Hygiene: Make sure you bathe properly and check your breath for any odour. Also, shave and clean your private parts, not many people appreciate dense hair down below.
- Foreplay: Like mentioned above, rushing into penetration is a bad bad idea. Start with a lot of Foreplay to understand your partner and then build tempo enough to start with penetration once your partner is sufficiently aroused and well lubricated for it. The absence of Foreplay may lead to girls feeling sharp pain or roughness in their vagina owing to lack of lubrication and guys losing their erection in over excitement. Hence, Foreplay is your way forward!
- Communicate: Communication is important in any relationship, even while you are in bed. It’s important to let your partner know about how they are doing and to direct them as they may not have the best idea about your body or pleasure centres. Remember, it’s not a one-man play, rather a teamwork that succeeds.
- Say No To Alcohol: Using alcohol as a way to calm the nerves might feel like a good idea, but it most certainly isn’t. You ideally will want to experience the first time clearly and not have hazy memories of the same. Also, it’s a known notion that alcohol may hinder a guy from getting a boner.
- Lubrication: The key to comfortable sex is lubrication. Check if the girl is sufficiently lubricated by using your fingers. You can also use a lube to provide proper lubrication to make penetration easier.
Now that you’ve all this information, you are all set for your first-time sex! So go, treat your partner and yourself right and spend some quality time together, snuggled up close!
Oh and don’t forget to cuddle! 😉